This Explains a Lot

I feel slightly guilty for pointing this out, but this rather amuses me. It's from BBC Radio 4's You and Yours website:

Tonsillectomy Scars

I haven't posted anything in a while since my searing exposé of Super Mario Galaxy set the internet on fire, so here for no particular reason is a short anecdote from my rather dull life.

When I was a kid, I had to get my tonsils out, so that invovled going into hospital for a bit. It turned out to be a bit longer than expected, because presumably vomiting up a load of blood and ending up attached to a drip isn't standard procedure after a tonsillectomy.

Anyway, I don't know if it was because it was close to Christmas and the nurses felt sorry for us kids, but it seemed like we were always having parties and being taken on trips around the hospital and stuff.

One particular excursion involved a visit to the hospital radio 'station', even though I don't think any of us actually listened to it. Shortly after arriving, after greeting the foul denizens that lurked within, and without any warning, I was asked what song I would like to be played by the DJ.

Being about 7 and not really knowing the names of any bands, I struggled desperately to think of something - anything - vaguely half-decent to suggest. The more tried to think, the more rubbish came to mind. Eventually - after what was probably only about ten seconds to be honest, but feeling like I was under some kind of deadly time limit - I blurted out, 'FIVE STAR!'.

Now, if you're not familiar with Five Star and their oeuvre, it may help you to know that it's possible that at some point somebody may have referred to them as 'The British Jackson Five', and yes, that is actually as shit as it sounds.

Being 7-years-old did not however assuage my embarrassment as the DJ announced my name on air and dedicated The Slightest Touch to me. They could have at least played System Addict. What's worse is that the kid who came after me chose The Final Countdown, which, despite being a slice of pure Eurocheese, was a song that I actually quite liked at the time.

To be fair, the only way the situation could have been improved for me was if the guy after had chosen something even worse, which possibly could only have been Agadoo or The Birdie Song.

And the moral of this story? Trust no-one my friend, particularly if they ask you to choose some music when you're wearing your pyjamas.

Super Mario Fallacy

Recently, I've been playing The Official Best Game Ever™, Super Mario Galaxy.

I know it's the best game ever, because people in magazines keep telling me so. And they never lie!

There's certainly been no small lack of expectation for this game, which is not unreasonable, given that most of Mario's previous platforming exploits have also variously been hailed as the best game ever made at the time.

After the - apparent - disappointment of Super Mario Sunshine (even though I enjoyed it), there was perhaps a slight note of cautious optimism as to whether this newest outing would be a true return to form. Well, numerous 10/10 ratings and perfect scores pretty much across the board would suggest that is indeed the case.

In pure gameplay terms, Galaxy is difficult to fault; visually stunning, a ridiculous number of big, varied levels, and a good, if not infallible, camera, which considering the kind of gravitational and spacial gymnastics it has to cope with, is nothing short of a miracle that it works at all.

Here's the thing...

... it's just too damn easy.

I was certainly surprised to be watching the end credits on my second day of playing, but I had been hammering it pretty hard since I got it the previous morning. However, that's been the general pattern with me and new games for as long as I can remember, and this still may be the fastest I've completed a big, proper videogame. I hadn't found everything though, merely half the game had to offer in fact, and I knew that collecting the rest of the stars would be the real challenge.

When I eventually picked up the final star a couple of days later, that's when the alarm bells really went off.

I would never really consider myself some kind of demon games player, although I am certainly well-versed in the ways of Mario, but even so I remember battling on for weeks at least when trying to find everything Mario 64 and Sunshine had to offer. Apart from the odd tricky section, usually involving some sort of race or the collection of purple coins, I snagged most of Galaxy's stars on my first couple of tries.

I was half convinced there must be something else to do after finding every star, but aside from the opportunity to play through the whole game again as a different character (oh, cheers), that seems to be it.

I'm not saying it isn't a great game, and I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself hugely while playing it, but can a game so relatively challenge-free be truly considered the best ever?