Bring Back Lan Jam

For virtually the entire existence of gaming, people have bemoaned the lack of decent - or any - games-related programming on British telly. Currently, with Cybernet being axed to make way for ITV's chav extortion scheme, the situation is that there is officially no dedicated programme focussed on videogames on terrestrial television.

If any production company has any ideas about making one to fill this gaping void, don't bother - it'll almost certainly be complete rubbish.

Here's why:

1. They'll get some message-T-shirt-wearing idiot to present it who used to do some kids' show, whose sum-total experience of playing games is using the fruit machine while waiting for their next Snakebite.
2. They'll do a feature on 'pro gamers', a topic most ordinary gamers couldn't give a tuppeny-toss about, interviewing a bunch of square-headed American boys called stuff like 'Thrustkill3r', who do nothing but play Quake IV every second of their lives.
3. They'll try and get celebrities to appear on it, but because they have no budget, and because no celebrities actually play any games, they'll get whoever was leftover after QuizMania have had their pick, and whose connection to the world of gaming is that they once saw someone playing Snake on their mobile.
4. They'll cram the show full of CGI sequences from games, because that always looks better than gameplay footage, and the production team probably don't know the difference anyway.
5. On previous form, they'll probably get some kids to do the reviews.