The Tit Awards

Here's something I've just noticed:

"Justin Lee Collins to present the Golden Joystick Awards 2006."

If you needed another reason to not pay any attention whatsoever to this ceremony, then they have provided it and then some.

Given that it usually warrants about half a column in most game mags, I don't know anyone who really cares about these awards, aside perhaps from the grey PR execs who populate the audience, whom you would only recognise if you happened to catch that episode of Click Online they appeared on making ludicrous claims about their company's new console or something.

Or the ex-Big Brother contestants and tabloid scandal-causers who get another 3 valuable seconds of airtime while presenting a award.

If awards ceremonies per se are largely unbearable viewing, then sitting through a show fêting computer and video games is probably something akin to being strapped to a chair while someone inserts a red hot needle into your bollocks at regular intervals.

I don't know if Mr. Lee Collins knows anything about gaming, but I suspect that's a moot point anyway - his job is probably just to read an autocue in the unbelievably loud and exaggerated way that's made him a star.